Elaine Starling: 00:00:00

Think about it this way, you are at the beginning of a beautiful story. You just opened the book, you're just starting to get to know the characters in the book, you know, they're gonna have adventures, you know, they're gonna have challenges, you don't know what they are. But that's part of the fun is allowing it to unfold and be revealed to you. You are the character in the book. So know that incredible blessings are surrounding you in every moment. It's like you are completely surrounded by these amazing presents and gifts. And all you have to do is unwrap them and celebrate them. And more and more is revealed to you with every step you take.

Chuck Anderson: 00:00:54

Hey, it's chuck here. And I'm so glad that you're listening to this episode. And I just want to take this quick moment right now to let you know about our free collaborators toolkit. And this episode is all about partnership and collaboration. And our guests share many resources, tools, and things that you can use to make collaboration and partnership easier in your business. So if you're looking for better ways to grow and scale your business, through collaborations, and strategic partnerships, this free collaborators toolkit is going to contain the best resources from our workshops, as well as contributions from our guests. And these tools could be the missing link that you've been looking for. And they're going to help you to solve every day business challenges, and access highly effective ideas that can help and grow your business exponentially. I know they've helped me and I know they're going to help you as well. And the best part about these tools is that they're completely free. And our gift to you for being a valued member of our community and a subscriber to the show. So you can get access to all of the resources contained inside the collaborators toolkit today by visiting the website at WWW.collaboratorsunite.com/toolkit. That address again is www.collaboratorsunite.com/toolkit. Go ahead and register today get access to all the resources and I'm gonna see you on the inside. Now. Here's the episode.

Chuck Anderson: 00:02:37

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to the Creative Collaboration Show Chuck Anderson here your host, and I am blessed today with a another amazing guest. Today I have with me, Elaine Starling. Elaine, welcome to the show.

Elaine Starling: 00:02:51

Hey, thanks so much for having me today. Chuck, I really appreciate it.

Chuck Anderson: 00:02:55

And Elaine, I know you and I met you know a while back. And we've been wanting to do this. And finally the stars have aligned. And we are in the same place at the same time. And I'm so thrilled to have you on my show. And you know, our previous conversations are so inspirational, so enlightening. And I know that our audience is going to get so much out of our conversation today. So you're ready to dive in?

Elaine Starling: 00:03:21

Absolutely.

Chuck Anderson: 00:03:22

All right, well, let's do this. So now look, I you know, I don't like to do your introduction, because nobody does their introduction better than themselves. And I've been on so many stages where people botch my introduction, and now I have to sort of live up to what they said. So I don't do any of that. So I'm gonna get you to start by introducing yourself. Let everyone know who you are what you do, and we'll take it from there.

Elaine Starling: 00:03:46

Absolutely, Chuck. I'm just so happy to be here with you. Because I'm the abundance ambassador. I teach the abundance journey. And that is an analogy for your life, because your life is truly a journey of abundance. And there are so many opportunities for you to experience a life beyond your imagining. The challenge is when we are born, we don't come with a playbook. We aren't given the rules of the game. And I was incredibly blessed on New Year's Day 2005 to have a stroke. Because during my stroke, I had a conversation with our higher power. And I got a complete download on how everything works, and why we're alive what we're supposed to be doing while we're alive, how we can live our best lives and what happens next after this life. And frankly, I got really pissed off. I was like, seriously, why don't you tell me this like 43 years ago, I was 43 year old 43 years old when I had the stroke. I was so chapped. I'm like you know what would have been easier if I had known this from the beginning. And so I got the message Yeah, that means you get to share it with everybody else and understand how it all works. And it was really funny because I was very, very left brained, very logical, very rational, very organized very. And I still have some of those tendencies, but I didn't Woo, let alone woo woo. So it was wicked uncomfortable for me to have this in grindable transformational experience, and then I have to share it with people. Are you kidding? But that's what I do. Now I help people recognize their own brilliance, and what they're bringing to the table because you're on this incredible journey. And there's a pattern that you follow over and over again, and you start to realize it's an infinity symbol, because it's never over, it's never done, this is what you do your entire life. And when you understand how it all fits together, it's so much easier, it's so much more fun, you know what to do when you face different challenges. And life is just a blast. So that's what I do.

Chuck Anderson: 00:05:50

That's awesome. Well, and there's so so many things I want to follow that up with, including how to really use this, you know, use this awareness to further whatever work you're doing, or whatever mission or whatever life journey you're on. And so many of our audience, they're, they're passionate entrepreneurs with a big idea. And they're trying to get it out there in the world, and most of them doing so not for the pursuit of money, but rather to make a big impact on the world and improve the lives of other humans. And I know that's the work that you do, you and I, you know, share that passion and so many of our audience does as well. So I know it's helpful for that, we're going to dive into that a little bit more. But one thing stood out to me as you shared your story. And I've never heard someone who's had a stroke, say refer to it as a blessing. I was blessed to have a stroke. Now, was that an instant realization? Or is that something you came to realize?

Elaine Starling: 00:06:52

Instant realization because I came out of the stroke with no damage. And frankly, if the divine wants to have a conversation with you, they'll set it up to have a conversation with you, it might not be a stroke, it might be something else. For me, it happened to be a stroke. And I knew I was blessed. I've never experienced so much intense love and gratitude and just incredible support and appreciation for who I am. I don't think I'm anybody special. But it was just such a miraculous experience. That yeah, I knew it was a huge blessing. And I knew it was like before stroke after stroke, life changed.

Chuck Anderson: 00:07:31

Wow, that is amazing. I just think that's such an incredible outlook as well, because, you know, I've had family members who've had strokes, and none of them ever described it as a blessing. And so I just find that to be so inspirational, in the way that you tell it, but also bigger picture here. And, and this kind of, you know, ties in with the theme of our show, which is all about collaborations and partnerships. And, you know, just in hearing you tell your story about how you received this download it right away, speaks to me as that we're not alone. And you know, for the first 25 years of my career, I was I was in the ego. I was definitely, you know, why does this happen to me? And I'm trying to do this, and Aren't I amazing? Or, you know, me, me, me i and then when you get to have that first realization, and maybe it happens differently for everyone. You know, when you first realize that, hey, there's, there's there's something looking out for me here, there's a power or a spirit or something that is guiding me in a particular direction. I know that's certainly true with the work that we've done in the parenting world, because I've tried to quit that so many times. And every time I quit, it lands right back on my, on my desk or slaps me upside the head, or you know, that there I'm destined to do, you know, cool things in the world of parenting and helping families and like, I'm not allowed to quit. Right. And so this is that's part of my realization, but again, in this theme of collaboration and partnership, you know, you know, maybe describe your experience with this in terms of how that realization that hey, we're not alone. And there's really important information out there that, first of all you needed to pay attention to but then, you know, presumably others can or should, however, we want to describe it, as well

Elaine Starling: 00:09:39

share just a little science with you, because I have a science background. I have to go there first. So scientists have discovered a lot about atoms. And it turns out that if you were to take the nucleus of an atom and imagine it's about the size of a peanut, then the rest of the entire atom would be the size of a baseball stadium with all the parking lots. It's that big. And the electrons and positrons are way, way smaller than that nucleus, and they're bounced around and all that empty space. Well, it turns out that empty space is where the divine lives. And scientists also discovered that we have trillions and trillions of atoms in our bodies. Well, if you were to remove all of that empty space, what would remain is smaller than a speck of dust. And that speck of dust is convinced it's a charge. I thought this stuff happened. It's all on me. I have to figure everything out. Oh, m g, right? No, not so much. You are in partnership with the divine. You are here with a very specific role. Think about it this way. Love is the blood of the Divine Love is what nourishes replenishes, removes and cleans the divine. You are the heart of the Divine, you are contracting and expanding, contracting and expanding continually creating more and more love and shoving it through the divine. That is your role that is your job. And sometimes we mistakenly think that this contraction is a sign I'm a failure. I haven't figured this out yet. What's wrong with me? I'm not enough. No, no, no, no, you're just being reminded that's, that's the divine hitting the doorbell saying you anybody home, right here, trying to get in touch with you. Anytime you're ready, sweetheart, if you want to play Twister on your own, knock yourself out. But when you're ready, Sign us up. We're here to help. So the key thing that I really want people to understand is Yes, life is here deliberately designed to continually inspire, encourage odds require that you bring more divine love to the situation. That is your job. That's why you're here.

Chuck Anderson: 00:12:17

That is by me. I mean, it gives me shivers just to think about it. But it's absolutely. You know, in my today life, absolutely true that I know that I'm in partnership with, you know, there is definitely a bigger picture, a universe, a power that is guiding me and pointing me in the right direction. I shared the parenting story earlier, I cannot shake that. If I tried to quit today, it would land back on my desk within a week. And there would be some message that says no idiot, you're supposed to be doing this, like, so wake up, wake up, right. And, but that first 25 years, it's like now it's you know, it's all me, this is my idea. This is my thing. This is my creation. And I just think about, you know, just evens the words that you just said where it felt out of alignment, it felt forced, it felt there was

Elaine Starling: 00:13:11

You have to work at it,

Chuck Anderson: 00:13:13

Right.

Elaine Starling: 00:13:14

Work at it when you have to work at something. That means your human self is really trying to take the lead my experience of the Divine, they are effervescent joy, they are over the top happy, excited, happy dancing, just ridiculous, silly, outrageous teasing. Just I have to get into you know, could you chill a little could you just consolidate a bit so I can really tap in here. So when you are being playful and joyful, and you don't care what other people think you're having a good time. That's when you're allowing more divine to flow through you as you. So stop taking yourself. So seriously, stop worrying so much about it. Think about it this way, you are at the beginning of a beautiful story. You just opened the book, you're just starting to get to know the characters in the book, you know, they're going to have adventures, you know, they're going to have challenges. You don't know what they are. But that's part of the fun is allowing it to unfold and be revealed to you. You are the character in the book. So know that incredible blessings are surrounding you in every moment. It's like you are completely surrounded by these amazing presents and gifts and all you have to do is unwrap them and celebrate them. And more and more is revealed to you with every step you take.

Chuck Anderson: 00:14:44

No, I think a key thing that really stood out to me there that you said was allowing it to unfold. And you know, in 25 years of helping entrepreneurs and even building my own businesses. You know, there's these conversations about, you know, I'm going to build this or I'm going to build that or goal setting, I'm going to set a goal, and I'm going to be at this level in the next 90 days, and I'm going to, I'm going to build this big thing. And, you know, some some of those goals fairly realistic, and many of them not. And when it comes to manifestation, it's like, I'm gonna manifest this, I'm going to make this happen. And you hear it all the time. In fact, I know for a fact that I have been guilty of saying and thinking these things myself. And that is where the struggle comes from. That is where it feels so out of alignment. But then, and it takes I think it takes a lot of faith for people to l was set a goal, set an intention, and then allow it to manifest in the way that it's meant to. And I think that, you know, with, and this is where the worldly pressures coming in, it's like, Oh, I gotta pay rent, or I gotta pay my team, or I have to hit these numbers by the end of this month. Well, those are all human constructs, those, that's not really how the universe works, in terms of manifestation. And I know for a fact that there are times where I have set goals like that, tried to force it to happen, you know, and then stopped trying to force it to happen in total frustration, and just a lot either allowed or just took my resistance off of it. And if you didn't, if it wasn't that that thing actually did happen sometime in the future, but it was only after I let go, and put my focus elsewhere that that intention actually happened.

Elaine Starling: 00:16:43

Well, I'm gonna share a big aha with you that I experienced because, honestly, that stroke experience with that conversation with the divine was just so beautiful. I felt like I was in a Niagara Falls of love. It was just, oh, gosh, awesome. And I came back, you know, and I'm, I did all this research and stuff. I'm favorite. How do I allow that connection again, because that was freaking awesome. I loved it. And I would get downloads. But frankly, it felt more like a partially stopped up Watering Can the Niagara Falls. And I was getting really frustrated. And finally I asked for guidance. I'm like, Why isn't allowing working for me? And immediately I got this question, what does the image what's the image that comes to mind when you think of the word allowing, and I immediately saw myself behind a door with a chain on the door, and I'm peeking out the door at the divine. And I'm really nervous, I'm really anxious, like, I might want to be able to slam the door shut, because it could be really overwhelming. And I suddenly realized, aha, allowing is a mind word for me. My human self is really trying to take over when I use the word allow to control and restrict. And that's not the kind of relationship that I want with the divine. I know the divine has my best intentions. You know, I know that there's untold blessings beyond anything I could even imagine. I don't need to protect myself and the divine. Who are we getting there? So I'm like, Okay, so what's a word that really represents the kind of relationship I want to have with the divine welcoming. Now, I welcome the divine, I welcomed divine guidance, I welcome abundance. I welcome everything that I want in my life, I choose abundance, and I welcome divine guidance to get me where I want to go. All of a sudden, it's not on me, it's with me and through me. And there are much broader things out there than that I could ever think of that the divine has in store for me, all I have to do is show up with my usual gifts and talents, skills, abilities, interests, preferences, and be that divine love for others let it flow through me to enrich and empower others. And even if they don't get it, even if they don't want it, even if they totally reject it. The fact that I am willing to be that Divine Love, allows it to flow back to me. And that's all money is money is a form of love. It's a it's a love energy. It's what we do to show our appreciation and gratitude for someone. And frankly, we pay the money to someone because they allow us to see ourselves in a new way. We suddenly see beyond our limitations and see our true potential. We step into who we really are. And holding their hand feels comfortable. So, yeah, welcome. Listen to the words that you're using. And identify, am I trying to control the situation? Aha, that means my human self is trying to be in charge here. I've got to reconnect with the divine, whatever form that takes for you, whatever you Your beliefs, even if you're agnostic, I'm going to challenge you to do something and it's gonna be really fun. This is gay. Remember, the Divine is very playful, they love to play, they love to be silly, you have to be outrageous, ridiculous and silly, and that's the best. Okay, so a wonderful little book, I highly recommend, it's called hiring the heavens. So it turns out what you can do for anything like if you're traveling and you've got a meeting to get to or, or you're taking a trip and you're going on an airplane, hire the heavens, you hire a group of angels, you say I want to concierge angel who's going to clear the freeway, make sure there's no traffic accidents, protect my car. And then I want a travel assistance angel who's gonna line up really great restaurants for me and fabulous relationships that I'm people I'm going to meet along the trip, and you hire the heavens, I need a copywriting Angel today. And they work they're cheap, they work for thank yous, the key is you have to talk to them out loud. And that can be very unnerving for us left brain types, I still consider myself a left brain type. So I have to get over my discomfort, and just say, okay, come on angels, let's get work. And this is going to be so fun. I really appreciate everything you did for me yesterday, and today's gonna be even better. I can't wait to see what shows up. Thanks so much. I thank them in advance, and you will be astounded at what shows up for you. absolutely astounded. I can't tell you how many times I will say angels, I really need to hear from two mentors today about this thing that I'm working on, I would love to receive guidance from two mentors. And I'll be standing in line at a Starbucks. And there are total strangers in front of me and they're talking about something I have no idea what they're talking about. But something they say is exactly what I needed to hear. It just opens you up to receive. So higher the heavens, it's a lot of fun.

Chuck Anderson: 00:21:55

That's a great book recommendation. But even the story that you just told that it has happened to me so many times that it is now impossible to ignore or discount or dismiss. And you know, for in your story, it's you're waiting in line at Starbucks, for me was in an elevator or in a you know, where it happens so often for me is when I'm in service, when I'm coaching in a one on one coaching session, it has happened numerous times. I can recall the last five years, but I'm going to suggest that was happening way before then. But the very answer that I was looking for would either come out of their mouths, or even stranger, out of my own hands. It wasn't something I had ever said before. I don't remember having any conscious thought about all I'm gonna say this, it just came out.

Elaine Starling: 00:22:53

Yeah.

Chuck Anderson: 00:22:54

But then I would when I was paying attention. It was like, Ah, I've never said that before. And I've learned to write it down. And I record all my sessions. When I know that that happened, I go back. And I pay attention to the things that either they were saying or the things that I was saying. So you know that message can be delivered in so many different ways. If we're paying attention,

Elaine Starling: 00:23:17

The divine wants to speak through you. We are the conduit for the divine to facilitate that beautiful love. And the beautiful thing is we get to experience it three times, we get to pull in this divine love and allow it to flow into our minds and stimulate our thoughts. And then we can pull it down into our hearts and surround it with even more love and delight and wonder and joy and gratitude that we get to be a part of this incredible cycle and experience. And then we get to softly gently share it with someone else. It's up to them whether they choose to receive it or not. All we have to do is share it. And we get it three times. Now the interesting thing is, the more we share and the more we're willing to show up that way, the more it comes back to us. So it's a really fun experience. And when you just get in the flow, and you stop trying to work it and you start playing it. It's amazing how easy it is to get into that space of grace and ease. And that's what I want for you incredible prosperity beyond imagining with grace and ease.

Chuck Anderson: 00:24:27

Love that grace and ease and couldn't we all just use a little bit of grace and ease and and you know, to my fellow entrepreneurs who are listening to this episode right now, when it feels like things aren't going your way, when it feels like there's a struggle that you wish wasn't there. What if you could replace that with grace and ease? Now I know Elena, as I say that there's going to be three groups of people in this in this audience, one that they've already stopped listening because it's like what okay, they They went off on a tangent, I'm not going there. There's the second group that they're nodding. And they're going Yes, yes, exactly. I'm aware of this. And there are others that are maybe becoming aware of this or, or hearing this for the first time, but are intrigued. And the natural question always is, and I know, we've just scratched the surface, and we could talk all day on this subject and still not even cover everything is when someone hears this message. And they're like, okay, okay, things haven't been going my way. And I want to be more in tune, I want to be more connected with the Divine, you know, what do you think would be the most beneficial first step in that direction,

Elaine Starling: 00:25:45

Okay, so the very first thing you want to do is acknowledge how you feel, acknowledge what's going on for you, because what you're feeling is very real, you know, if you're having trouble writing the checks to pay the bills, that's a very real situation, you know, if you broke your arm and your arm hurts, that's a very real situation. So you have to acknowledge what's going on. And I love to write things down. Because sometimes the mind will get caught in a loop. And it's just trying to bring it to your attention, that you already know that you need to get some more money in to pay the bills, you already have that awareness. So rather than let the loop continue, write it down. And that way, the next time your mind brings it up, you can say, Okay, thank you appreciate the heads up, already made a note of it, I'm on it. What's next. And what's next, after you acknowledge it is to engage, you want to engage with the divine. So I have a little meditation that I use that I find really powerful, you might prefer to sit in silence and ask for guidance, you might prefer tapping you might there's so many different ways praying, there's so many things, and they all work. So you have to tune in to yourself, and what helps you feel centered and grounded, and more connected, and more at peace. Because you have to just accept that, yes, this is how I feel. And this is a temporary feeling. Your emotions and what you feel are just like waves on the beach, it takes about 90 seconds for your body to process an emotion. But what happens is you have a thought that pings and your body feels the reaction, there's a physical reaction, a chemical reaction in your body. And then your mind puts an emotion on top of that. Now very interesting that the body can't tell the difference between anxiety and anticipation. It looks exactly the same. So what if you stopped telling yourself a story? I'm really anxious, I have to worry about this. This is a problem and I got away. Instead of doing that, what have you decided I'm filled with anticipation? I have no idea what's gonna happen next. I can't wait to turn the page. This is awesome. I partnered with the divine, they're gonna come up with some so cool. What's it I'm on the edge of my seat, baby. This is Robin, bring it on. Whoo. This is great. Because what's truly happening is you're on a precipice of discovery. You're teetering on the edge of new expansion and new abundance and new awareness that you never visited before? How beautiful is that? Embrace it, instead of resisting it and saying, Oh, I'm trapped. This is horrible. No, no, it's not on me. I'm partnered with the divine. This is awesome. I can't wait to see what's next.

Chuck Anderson: 00:28:46

Love that can't wait to see what's next. Imagine if every day was lived in that way. How amazing would that be? So look, you know, so much of this journey in business and in life is about learning. It's about growing, it's about discovering the possibilities and really tapping into all the resources that are surrounding you. And, you know, so if this is something that you know, something that Elaine is sharing here, that you really connect with, and you would like to learn more, we're going to make sure Elaine shares her contact details here in just a moment. But we always you know, in that spirit of learning and growing and expanding, we always like to recommend resources. And I know Elaine, you're in a tremendous resource. So we're going to make sure that we have all your information I'm going to get you share with that in a moment. We always get people to our guests to share a book which you've already done. One other piece I like to ask about is in terms of your teachers, if there was one teacher that has been who's been there for you, who's been a big inspiration and big part of your journey. Anything that you recommend other check out as well. Who would you recommend?

Elaine Starling: 00:30:06

I would highly recommend Deborah Hahnemann. She has a program called Yes to Success. And part of what I love about Deborah's teaching and learning is that she pulls from a lot of different experts. And she kind of gives you highlights of a lot of different perspectives, and brings it all together into one cogent hole. And I really appreciate that. And you know, it's so funny, Chuck, I read four or five books a week. I'm like popcorn, so I can recommend books like nobody's business. I know, I really want to recommend another book. So, um, one of my favorite books is a book called connected. And it's really interesting, because these guys are social scientists. And they were curious about how connected we really are. And they have a whole concept that they introduced in their book, it's called the three degrees of influence rule. And it turns out, if you were to imagine that you're at the center of the bullseye, you have influence over your friends, which you would expect friends, friends, three levels away from you, friends, friends, friends. And I was like, wow, that's really interesting. But how significant is that, you know, that plus five bucks might give me a cup of coffee. And so I asked Mrs. Google, and she had the perfect answer from a study that was published in the New York Times that said, the average American knows about 600 people. That seemed kind of high to me. But a few of my friends said, Oh, no, that's way too low. So I'm like, Okay, I didn't do the math. They did. Let's pretend that 600 people. So if you imagine you're at the center of the bullseye, then that means the first ring is 600 people, well, every single one of those 600 people know 600 People, that's 360,000. And every single one of those 600 360,000 people, no 600 people, that's 214 million people, you have influence over 214,360,600 people with every single thing you think, feel say? Or do, you are that important? You are that valuable? You are that influential? You are that magnificent? And we are so blessed, that you're here.

Chuck Anderson: 00:32:24

Wow, that is amazing. And so connected, definitely going to I have not read that book yet. Check it out, it's going on the must read list. And the must read list is getting really, really long now. Because I do so many of these interviews, and everyone has an amazing book to recommend. And you know, there's been, we have not recommended the same book twice. Can you imagine that everyone has their own favorite and always for an amazing reason. And I love so much what you just shared with us here so So Elaine, I know that we've only scratched the surface. And I you know, I welcome the day that we can do even more with what we have started here today. But in bringing this home two things. First thing is share with everyone where they can get a hold of you. Because I know that we've resonated with some people today they're dying, you know, just itching to get in touch with you to learn more and have you guide them in in terms of becoming more connected with the Divine in their journey. How did they do that?

Elaine Starling: 00:33:28

So visit the website, which is theabundancejourney.com I really love you to check out theabundancejourney.com. And you can also watch my TEDx talk. It's called Abundance is a choice. I've got over 138,000 views so far. And my goal is to reach 10 million people because abundance truly is a choice. It's based on your mindset. And once you get your mindset, right, it's all gravy.

Chuck Anderson: 00:34:00

Wow, amazing. Elaine, thank you so much. I know we've shared so many, you know, great stories and bits of information here. And I know we've just scratched the surface. Just an amazing, amazing talk. And I could talk to you all day about this. But if we were to leave our audience with just one final word of wisdom, what would you tell them?

Elaine Starling: 00:34:23

You are a blessing. And you are blessed.

Chuck Anderson: 00:34:29

That's it right?

Elaine Starling: 00:34:31

That's all you need to know. Just accept it. Accept it, welcome it, agree with it. Look for it. You'll discover it in everything that you think feel, say and do if you decide, yeah, I'm constantly being blessed. All of a sudden, you start noticing the blessings that are there.

Chuck Anderson: 00:34:52

Wow. Elaine, thank you so much for that and I know what a great way to put a cap on this episode. You've been amazing. And to our guests and listeners, thank you for tuning in. And I really hope that this has been inspirational, maybe even eye opening and awakening for you do please do connect with Elaine, she's amazing. And you are amazing as well. I know you're all on an amazing journey, building a business or with an idea that can be potentially world changing. And we all need you to do your thing. And on that pursuit, you know, keep moving forward, be awesome. And make sure you tune in to the next episode where we're going to have another amazing guest. Thank you all and have a great week.